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All of Jim’s things were gone. I frantically looked around the room for a message, and found a torn piece of paper lying on my pillow: “That’s it – I’m done. I’ll have my lawyer contact you to discuss a legal separation. I suggest you get a lawyer, too.” He hadn’t even signed his name. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, and I couldn’t breathe. I sat on the bed, staring at his note, trying to take it all in. I’m not sure what I was feeling, shock, disbelief, anger, hurt, confusion – all of those things. I felt like the earth opened up and swallowed me up (sinkhole). I felt like I spent the next weeks and months in a fog. I couldn’t have been more clueless about what had really been happening in my marriage. Jim moved into the apartment of his girlfriend – one he had for almost a year. I saw them crossing the street one evening, as I was coming back from showing a house. She was everything I’m not – young, tall, slender, gorgeous and sophisticated. The only time I saw Jim. Just use what we’ve taught you and don’t trust anyone. Eli, I mean – ANYONE!”“I promise I’ll be extra careful, Dad. My brothers tell me all the time that I’m just like you, always looking at everybody to see what they’re doing and trying to figure out what they’re thinking.”“You just keep it up then. I know you’re a lot like me, Eli and I’m proud of that. But I’ve never let one of my Bucks go off alone before and I can’t help but worry.”“I’ll be alright, Dad. Kit and I have lots of plans for the future. I’m not going to let that little red-headed, hot-blooded girl of mine down either!”“Eli Crow, you get more and more like your old man every day!”They were still laughing when the northbound freight rolled into Tulsa.Eli walked his son to the steps of the Pullman where Little Eli stopped, turning to face his dad before stepping up to the rear platform of the second Pullman car. There were two Pullman coaches on the long freight with a diner car between them.They stood looking at each.
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